Blue Peter legend Janet Ellis taught me wisdom I’ll never forget – neither should you | Express Comment | Comment

How do you find the strength to keep on keeping on when you have lost the love of your life? You ask Janet Ellis, that’s how. You know Janet. We all do. She’s the 69-year-old former Blue Peter presenter, actress and author who happens to be Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s proud mum too. On Friday, Janet joined me on my TV show and unflinchingly described how she had painstakingly pieced her life back together following her husband John Leach’s death from cancer aged just 63 in 2022.

She misses John ferociously and furiously. His absence leaves an overwhelming vacuum. To this day, when she arrives at a destination her first thought is to message him to tell him that she is safe and sound. The last thing she does before sleeping is to wish him goodnight.

Janet says losing the person who chose you and whom you chose is different from the loss of a family member. There is something so special about being so deeply loved and loving in return that no one and nothing can staunch your grief.

She feels a responsibility to her late husband to remain the person he adored and owes it to him to continue to be her essential self, not a shadow of a person he would not recognise.

Janet says it is vital to remember who you are, nurture your passions and friendships, walk the dog, maintain daily structure, eat, drink and on occasion, be merry.

With energy and effort, she says it is possible not to shed your sorrow but to put it “beside you” so it doesn’t weigh you down and obliterate you.

Calls flooded in as Janet described people crossing the road to avoid her after her bereavement because, as she put it, “they’re frightened and have no idea what to say…”.

Her suggestion is to offer “to be here at your side for anything you like, whenever you want me”. People joined her on dog walks and their company helped.

With searing honesty, Janet described the daily jolt of sleeping alone, coming back to a dark silent house and still being engulfed with longing at unexpected moments. She shields her adult children, believing their job is to grieve for their father (in Sophie’s case, stepdad) and not to worry about her.

Callers took comfort from her wisdom. She is a testament to the enduring power of true love and I treasured her company.