6 easy ways to spot whether or not someone is self-centred

Few punishments will have you thinking what you must have done in a previous life than to be trapped in conversation with a complete narcissist.

Some can’t help themselves from subconsciously shifting the focus towards them, while others take full accountability for their self-absorption as they turn your stories into theirs.

Minutes can drain into hours as you plan your escape route – you spotted an old friend across the room, you heard the last orders bell, or maybe you left the stove on at home.

Ego is not inherently a bad thing in people, but there is a level of self-centredness that can stray close to the point of no return, by which everyday conversations turn into periods of talking and waiting to talk more.

But, more often than not, there are some glaring tell-tale signs that one might be self-centred, many of which will come up early in conversation, leaving you with enough to exit if needed – here are six to help you.

“Oh, that reminds me of when I…”

This one isn’t exclusively self-centred but is a favourite amongst those who are, often cutting through someone else’s story.

Immediately, the conversation is rerouted to the person who said the phrase and good luck getting back to your original story, as it may take a while.

“Before I forget..”

Another entry which is most commonly used to cut someone off mid-sentence, hidden behind the thinly-veiled excuse of memory loss.

The trigger for this is typically a buzzword that will remind the self-centred person of an anecdote, often involving them, which just cannot wait to be heard, regardless of who was speaking.

“I’m just being honest.”

Although some can come across as self-centred without meaning to be, and they would correct their behaviour when pointed out to them, others can just be mean.

“I’m just being honest,” is a phrase many use as a shield for unsolicited opinions, cutting remarks, or comments that serve only themselves. The phrase often comes up in conversation when a person has a gnawing thought about something or someone, and they don’t care how it lands.

“I just don’t see how that affects me.”

A rather obvious inclusion, but still easy to miss. Whether it’s during a political conversation, moral debate or someone sharing a crisis they’re currently in or have been in.

The notion that, unless it directly impacts their lives, some things shouldn’t matter, or even be uttered, to certain people is an entirely warped main character view of the world.

“Why are you making this about you?”

The saying “it takes one to know one” is apt for this one, as someone who wants to direct the conversation towards them knows all too well the tricks someone else might be deploying to do the same.

If a shared experience is the topic of discussion, those who are self-centred tend to invalidate the other’s story in several subtle ways. A red flag to keep an eye out for.

“I already knew that.”

Finally, another clear indicator that you may be dealing with a narcissist, those occasions when you, or someone else when in a group, shares some insightful knowledge and is immediately shot down.

Rather than remaining silent if they did know the information, or even go as far as showing appreciation for it, a self-centred person will have to declare they already knew that, as if it makes any difference.

These six phrases are easy to miss, but once you suspect you’re dealing with someone who is self-absorbed, you’ll notice they roll off the tongue all too often.